There is No One and Nothing Like Mom
TRANSITIONS AND MOURNING
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
When I was only 16 years old, I lost my mother to a 2nd bout of stroke. It is a life changing event at any age, but at 16, I concede that it was indeed one of the most devastating, confusing, chaotic times in my young life. Nonetheless, it is one of the most divine lessons I've learned.
She made her transition when she was 54, and left behind 8 children, all of whom were adults, with the exception of me (of course). At a very age, I learned to face the loss of what I valued most - the love of my dear Mother.
To this day, I ponder on why she made the choice to go when she was so young. Regardless, I am so grateful to my Mother for giving birth to me, for teaching me the lessons I needed to learn, and now, for the countless lessons that I continue to learn.
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
When I was only 16 years old, I lost my mother to a 2nd bout of stroke. It is a life changing event at any age, but at 16, I concede that it was indeed one of the most devastating, confusing, chaotic times in my young life. Nonetheless, it is one of the most divine lessons I've learned.
She made her transition when she was 54, and left behind 8 children, all of whom were adults, with the exception of me (of course). At a very age, I learned to face the loss of what I valued most - the love of my dear Mother.
To this day, I ponder on why she made the choice to go when she was so young. Regardless, I am so grateful to my Mother for giving birth to me, for teaching me the lessons I needed to learn, and now, for the countless lessons that I continue to learn.
I was a very different person back then - still living in the opaque veil of unconsciousness and thinking of course, I knew all there was to know (after all, I was a teenager!). I decided that I needed to be stronger for my siblings when Mom died - they were all so concerned about me. So, I decided that I would never let them (or anyone) see me vulnerable. I didn't cry at the funeral, nor at the wake. And continued to not know how to cry in public for many years (I didn't want their concern to overflowing onto my independence).
The intensity and exquisite pain I have had the privilege to feel has definitely made me a stronger person. Despite what was going on with me on the outside, even at my young age, I allowed my spirit to mourn...Only because I knew I needed to.
Life lessons since her passing has given me ample opportunity to harden, or to soften. When I left California in 97, I thought I left on account of a job. I convinced myself that leaving meant stepping out of the mess of a broken relationship back in Southern California (where everything about my life and upbringing seemed messy!). In fact, the journey has been divine and the opening for consciousness began with falling flat on my face! I suppose the universe has a way of cracking open egos that want to be found...
In my journey, I was surrounded by Angels - spiritual guardian angels as well as earthly guardian angels that have remained my friends to this day. Perhaps, this is my Mother's way of continuing to teach me lessons I need to learn to grow.
At the young age of 16, I have learned to live everyday of life, like my last.
Today, in accepting what is, I have realized that my beloved Mother's passing has had an impact on every major decision I've had in my growing years.
The choices I have made for my life has made my life, MY OWN...
Although I may mourn, when someone I know passes, I no longer grieve. Instead, I choose to celebrate their life and how they have touched me. I am grateful for however large or small their gift was. In my mourning and embrace of Melancholy's visit, I am grateful to feel and honored to remember.
I am the blessed one to whom this passing soul has touched.
If you are going through a difficult time in your life with the transition of passing, one of the most healing actions you can take is to process it, journalize, remember, and share...
The intensity and exquisite pain I have had the privilege to feel has definitely made me a stronger person. Despite what was going on with me on the outside, even at my young age, I allowed my spirit to mourn...Only because I knew I needed to.
Life lessons since her passing has given me ample opportunity to harden, or to soften. When I left California in 97, I thought I left on account of a job. I convinced myself that leaving meant stepping out of the mess of a broken relationship back in Southern California (where everything about my life and upbringing seemed messy!). In fact, the journey has been divine and the opening for consciousness began with falling flat on my face! I suppose the universe has a way of cracking open egos that want to be found...
In my journey, I was surrounded by Angels - spiritual guardian angels as well as earthly guardian angels that have remained my friends to this day. Perhaps, this is my Mother's way of continuing to teach me lessons I need to learn to grow.
At the young age of 16, I have learned to live everyday of life, like my last.
Today, in accepting what is, I have realized that my beloved Mother's passing has had an impact on every major decision I've had in my growing years.
The choices I have made for my life has made my life, MY OWN...
Although I may mourn, when someone I know passes, I no longer grieve. Instead, I choose to celebrate their life and how they have touched me. I am grateful for however large or small their gift was. In my mourning and embrace of Melancholy's visit, I am grateful to feel and honored to remember.
I am the blessed one to whom this passing soul has touched.
If you are going through a difficult time in your life with the transition of passing, one of the most healing actions you can take is to process it, journalize, remember, and share...
To My Friend, Lee (05.28.06)
Tribute to Life
I just found out yesterday that a friend, Lee Alkire passed a way...
As human beings, we are so quick to "fix" ourselves and our reactions to situations, circumstances, events, people, places and things. My initial thought is, "Lee is a nice guy and I will miss him." This is my initial reaction to numb out the loss and connection I feel from my discovery. Then, I allow myself to be the silence...
When I take a moment to remember Lee, I feel the essence of the person he was when he was living. Lee was a kind and gentle soul, always with a smile and such a loving spirit.
As human beings, we are so quick to "fix" ourselves and our reactions to situations, circumstances, events, people, places and things. My initial thought is, "Lee is a nice guy and I will miss him." This is my initial reaction to numb out the loss and connection I feel from my discovery. Then, I allow myself to be the silence...
When I take a moment to remember Lee, I feel the essence of the person he was when he was living. Lee was a kind and gentle soul, always with a smile and such a loving spirit.
In his passing, I allow myself to feel the loss. As his soul exits our world into the next, I bid him aloha oe - happy trials - until we meet again...and the pain of this loss pierces my heart.
I pay tribute to his life, even though I have only him for a short period of time.
They say grief and mourning is a selfish act. Those who have passed are in peace - they have returned to consciousness and back to God. In so many ways, they have returned to our collective HOME as the heavens have called.
One of the many lessons I have learned is the fragility of life. One must truly appreciate or learn to appreciate life...to slow down and get PRESENT to the fact that we are NOT immortal. As human beings, we go through life trying to find the meaning of life...only to get confused, and caught up in the veil of illusion.
Instead of trying to find the meaning, let us simply be present and feel alive. Easier said than done.
To be present to the current moment, every moment means not living in the past or the future. Being present and conscious of life requires constant practice. It means making conscious choices and decisions that enable us to feel alive...and this requires practice.
Practices brings awareness. Awareness invites appreciation. Appreciation causes a conscious shift in the choices we make.
Our choices and collective experiences give meaning to our lives. We, then, no longer need to seek the meaning of life. Rather, meaning finds us. E
I pay tribute to his life, even though I have only him for a short period of time.
They say grief and mourning is a selfish act. Those who have passed are in peace - they have returned to consciousness and back to God. In so many ways, they have returned to our collective HOME as the heavens have called.
One of the many lessons I have learned is the fragility of life. One must truly appreciate or learn to appreciate life...to slow down and get PRESENT to the fact that we are NOT immortal. As human beings, we go through life trying to find the meaning of life...only to get confused, and caught up in the veil of illusion.
Instead of trying to find the meaning, let us simply be present and feel alive. Easier said than done.
To be present to the current moment, every moment means not living in the past or the future. Being present and conscious of life requires constant practice. It means making conscious choices and decisions that enable us to feel alive...and this requires practice.
Practices brings awareness. Awareness invites appreciation. Appreciation causes a conscious shift in the choices we make.
Our choices and collective experiences give meaning to our lives. We, then, no longer need to seek the meaning of life. Rather, meaning finds us. E
