Within Grasp Almost

17:44  Meditation today was much later than usual.  I have been reading Rumi a bit today and I think that was tainting my mind somehow.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Rumi's poetry, sometimes though, it seems like mental masturbation.  Anyway, back to meditation:  it was quiet. . . sort of.  As I tried to still my mind, I would try to empty it but I was constantly at the ready to put something back.  That is to say, when I would finally feel as though my mind was still and open, I would notice something on the periphery that was like a fleeing fire fly.    Just as I would notice it in the periphery and it seemed so bright, I would try to look directly at it and it would be gone.  Somehow, when it wasn't where I looked, I would feel somehow empty. . .It was a strange and frustrating experience.  It seemed like something I should really know, like a revelation that would offer a gift or something.  Not exactly an ideal meditation and I just don't know what to make of it?