Moving into meditation I was trying to reconcile my ideas of God and self.  Those were the two words I focused on.  First I would imagine God and what God is to me.  I would see expansive, all encompassing visions of God.  God is all things-- the universe, the ocean, all people in all times.  God is Omnipresent, omnipotent, and all knowledge of all time.  And I would think I am part of that.  Then I would think of self. . .me.  And my vision would contract to this tiny little person who exists only in this tiny little space and time.  So I would go back and forth---God--self-- God--Self--God--Self. . .each time bringing the full vision of God and then the vision of self.  Each time I did this I would bring them closer together by expanding my vision of self.  As this came into realization, the phrase so familiar yet until now had less meaning,  "All Things are Possible" It became clearer to me that by expanding my vision of self and understanding better that I am part and parcel to "the universe, the ocean, all people in all times."  the Omnipresent, Omnipotent, all encompassing knowledge of all time collectively, by bringing these realities closer together in my mind, at once, I understood that all things are possible.  The message that came to me in a previous meditation to "Decide and God will move heaven and earth to make it happen" is now more clear.  I envisioned myself in this ocean of God with all things, all ideas and all possibilities waiting for me to choose one. . .or two. . .or more.  I started embracing another concept from a previous meditation.  It is the concept of being that solid link in time (refer to previous meditation), the idea of being the divine musical note in the perfectly composed symphony of mankind and this universe.  What does it mean to be that solid link? the divine note?

"All things are possible, Decide and I will move heaven and earth to support you." 

A side thought:  Wow!  I thought, all I have to do is decide?  It doesn't seem so difficult until I start thinking of all of the implications and requirements that come with making the decision.  I cannot decide and just wait--that ain't the way it works.  If I make this proclamation now to God and myself (One) that I am going to change the world in this amazing and brilliant way, THEN, I must commit and do everything it takes to make it happen.  That is a lifetime commitment!  It is scary as I will have to take risks and believe and have faith.  Holy smokes!  But wait, all I have to do is decide, right. . . Maybe if I just decide and start taking mini-steps so it isn't so overwhelming.  Okay, I have decided, whew, glad the hard part is over.  Next thing on the list, Find Help. . .

Now all we have to do is start changing the world.

Namaste . . .

The brilliant thing about a blog is that I don't really have to tie it all together.  That is a good thing as sometimes my mind doesn't seem to tie it together.  Anyway. . . "Link"  As I meditated today I saw a vision of me acting as a link.  on either side of me was an arm and a hand reaching out and holding my hands.  I was in the center and I was holding hands to either side of me.  I could only see from just above the elbow down to the hand reaching and holding my hand and as I watched, the vision of me faded in and out.  Not completely, My image of me would become semi transparent and then it would become very solid and opaque.  The opaque me represented something solid.  It represented me being and acting out who I truly am.  When I am transparent, it is being something that is not who I truly am.  Pretty interesting.  I think I want to be who I am. . .

So possibility. . .As always when I was beginning to close my meditation, I started to pray.,  Typically,. when I pray, my prayer is one of thanksgiving.  As I give thanks, I give thanks for all of the things that are and that er to be.  In the process of giving thanks for those things that are to be, it was as if I was interrupted.  I was reminded of a time when I was desperately praying for success in a certain area of my life that I was not currently realizing success in.  Specifically, I was praying for success in the stock market.  That was how I had envisioned creating a life of freedom for myself.  I was certain that if I could create success in the market, I was going to be free.  Well, that was not the path that followed.  Instead, an opportunity arose for me to start a business of my own.  So, I did.  This was a far better path for me than the stock market..  Had I been successful in the Market., chances are that I would have had a substantial setback when the market receded.  Instead, I was able to hone my business skills and thrive through the market ups and downs..  The gift there was that I learned that I definitely don't always know the best path and moreover, I must be open to other possibilities (perhaps the divine path) in order to truly succeed. 

So there you have it Link and Possibility.  I need to be who I am and not pander to who I think I should be  AND I choose to open up and listen and know that there may be a better way than my way. 

As I blindly feel my way through, I really hope I get some of it right!

Shantih Shantih Shantih

I couldn't get logged into the blog the last couple of days . . .in all honesty, I didn't try very hard. . .My two meditations that I did not blog were not really what I would call peaceful.  Yesterday when I started to meditate, I couldn't settle down very well and when I finally did get somewhat settled, the cat jumped up on me.  First she was purring really loud then she started licking herself. . . just not very peaceful.  I thought, hey this may be a good opportunity for me to really center myself and tune the cat out.  Alas, apparently I am not there yet.

Today however was very good.  I always know when I am in Presence as I do not wish to come out of meditation.  Today was like that.  As I brought myself to a beta state, I was repeating "closer to One" as my focus phrase.  Closer to One, as I repeat this, I found myself trying to understand the meaning of the phrase or at least what it means to me.  It seems a little like my body can be compared to a "divine" car.  It occurred to me that in a very similar way to driving my car down the street, I am driving my body through life.  If my windows are down and I hear all the hustle and bustle outside, it is easy to distract myself.  When I have the windows up and I turn on the radio, it is easy to get lost in a song.  When I choose to though, I can just be safely in my car and notice and experience all the things around or not.  Meditation seems a little like that--being quite in my body and noticing noticing.

As I got closer to One, it was a little as though I heard God say "Decide."  It was not really clear to me what that meant so I just stayed quiet.  'Decide, and I will move heaven and earth to make it happen."  Okay, I will be with that.  Next it was "Give".  As I thought about that, I thought, give what?  The message was that I have an ocean of intangible stuff inside me to give.  Stuff that makes people feel good, makes people feel loved, and makes others and myself happy.  That is what I should give and I should give it without reserve.  Why don't I already do that?  I don't know?  Finally, worship.  Now that is a pretty strong word I thought.  Worship what?  Worship God?  That is so ethereal. . .I am pretty sure I worship God presently and at times even fervently.  Is that not enough?  We are all created in the likeness of God.  We are all created from God.  I have had a fair amount of logic classes and other classes such as physics and chemistry and by all physical laws and logical deductions, a reasonable conclusion may be that if we worship one another, we would, in a very real sense, be worshiping God.    Well, with all that , I thought I either need to start my own cult or perhaps explore this a bit more.  The idea that occurred to me was that I should try an experiment with my wife.  Perhaps we should take a short time each day and worship each other.  I am not really clear what that means yet but if she is willing, I think it will be fun.  What is the worse that can happen, we will just love each other a little more.

A lot to take away, Decide, Give Worship--I'll do it though!

09:31 It took a few minutes again to settle into meditation.  My little boy was shouting at the dogs to be quiet in an effort to help me though I couldn't hear the dogs, just my little boy. . .He's pretty awesome!

As I finally calmed down, I reminded myself that this meditation is exactly where I needed to be and nothing else in the world was more important.  I repeated to myself that I am currently present in the silence with the One Power and One Presence in the Universe, God the Good.  The theme of my meditation became, "Thank You God, I know it's good.  Currently, I was feeling some stress concerning a vacation we plan to take in the very near future.  I was concerned about finances, and time and every little thing that may accompany that.  I started examining every thing slowly one by one.  With each challenge I thought I was facing, I stated the challenge and said "Thank You God, I Know it's Good."  When I stated the challenge in my mind, I would notice what would happen with my body.  If I felt any tension or uneasiness, I would acknowledge it and release it while I said Thank You God, I know it's Good.  I went through this process for anything I felt stress about and those things that felt unfinished.  It felt great to acknowledge and release, all the time saying, Thank You God, I know it's Good.

Something occurred to me in this process, somewhat out of the blue.  It occurred to me that life and all of existence is a perfectly composed, Divine symphony.  That each of our lives, my life, is a note within that perfect symphony.  My life is a single note in this divine symphony?  As I explored this, it occurred to  me that a single note is composed of constant vibrations and energy that can vary ever so slightly to create sound to all those who hear it.  The note that is heard may profoundly affect some while passively affecting others.  The idea settled into the fact that I am a part of the Divine symphony.  I am the note that God composed to be in this place and time right now.  The vibration of that note is what I control.  I can let the vibration flow as God intended it by being with it and being open to flow and open to God's omnipresent knowledge or I can change the vibration by trying to control how it's sounds and the subtle movement in the flow of the vibration.

The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao according to Lao Tzu, however, I hope that our glimpses at the Tao can somehow help illuminate the path. 

With everything in life, the good and the "seemingly" bad , I say Thank You God, I know it's Good.  And so it is Amen

8:49 am:  They said sun for the next 9 days. . .it is a rainforest here though. 

Today I meditated immediately after my first workout.  This was new as I usually try to meditate before my first workout.  Variety is indeed the spice of life though and spicy is good! 

It was a bit of a rocky start with meditation.  I had a hard time focusing and relaxing.  After a short bit, I decided my entire meditation would just be on relaxing and letting go of every physical tension in my body.  I started at my head ( alot of tension in there).  I focused on the truth that I am safe.  I repeated in my mind "I am safe. . .I am healthy. . .I am strong. . .I am happy. . .I live a peaceful life"   I went back to body check.  Taking my time to go from head to toe.  Some music was playing on the stereo and as I let the music in, I would focus on wherever I felt the music in my body and I would relax that area completely.  Anytime my mind would wander, I would go back to "I am safe. . .I am healthy. . .I am strong. . .I am happy. . .I live a peaceful life" Repeating this in any order that it occurred to me. 

I started these phrases last week when I attended an assisted meditation with Rev. Billie Blain.  She was reading from a book that I do not recall but the phrase "I am strong"  was not clear for me.  What did it mean?  I am physically strong?  Should I picture myself flexing my muscle?  Should I picture my body lean and defined?  I just couldn't grasp what it meant to know "I am strong", at least not in this context.  In this meditation, as I repeated, I am Strong, it occurred to me that I am strong because I am closer to Source.  I am strong because my judgement is sound and I trust my judgement.  I am strong because I believe in me, in God, in the truth that I am on the divine path that is mine.  I am strong because I am One with God. . .Gooood

Also, as I repeated I am healthy and let go of all the tension (bit by bit, again and again), it occurred to me that I have no reason to hold any tension.  I hold tension in my body (I believe) as protection.  Like when I am going to have to catch a ball, I take the position to catch and tense my muscles so I am ready for the ball.  I boxed for a while as a teenager and when I knew I was going to take a blow from the other guy, I would tense the muscls to protect myself.  Here though, in my meditation, I was safe.  I had no reason to have tension, "I am safe."  So I focused on "I am safe" I knew that I could even relax my heart and it would go on beating.  I could release every bit of tension--let go and let God.  I read recently (in a book on fasting) a reminder that anytime we are full, there is no room or need to let anything else in.  On the other hand, when we are empty or when we make space, heaven and earth will move to fill the space.  In the context of fasting, the idea was that if I want to allow room for change in my life, I needed to make room and fasting is great way to do that (see note).  In this context, I understood letting go as letting all the tension go and because I am a child of god, in letting go, God (or my higher self) could restore my body to the perfect divine body that is God's.  I mentally pictured every cell in my body as it was in it's perfect orbit and every organ functioning perfectly.

"I am safe. . .I am healthy. . .I am strong. . .I am happy. . .I live a peaceful life.

Note: The book I referred to is "The Fasting Path" by Stephen Harrod Buhner.  It is an awesome read when one is ready for change.