I didn't sleep so well last night and it seems when I do not sleep well, I am scattered and my mind races.  Not in a good way. . . SO as I meditated today, I just wanted to get my sea legs steady so I could chart a course.  I am finding the meditation repeating the words, "All is Perfect, All is Beautiful.. . .I am Perfect, I am Beautiful" is an awesome meditation.  It really allows me to see the truth of those statements and get centered.  So centered I am.  My course for today and tomorrow is charted and I am ready to stay the course. 

A Theme that has occurred to me repeatedly now after meditation is to hold the course.  Evelyn brought the Bhagavad Gita to me the other day.  She was showing me how it reflected the idea of God being the unchanging and perfect while we, and everything we see or have concept for, are relative.  For any of you who may not know the Bhagavad Gita, it is a Hindu scripture.  Specifically, it is a dialogue between a mortal and God.  It is very interesting to read but the part that drew my attention this time was a discourse about different types of people.  It defines people into three types.  The first is the group of people who hold God foremost in their decisions and activity.  It says these people have a singular goal which is to serve God.  because they have this singular goal, they are able to make quick and concise decisions and do not waste time and mental energy going between decisions and deciding the best course.  These people are happy and successful because of this singular course and goal.  The second group is the folks who primarily pursue worldly  goods.  Because these people have many goals (or gods?) they are seeking to serve, they expend much of their energy and time chasing more immediate satisfaction.  They are largely scattered (less focused) and consequently less successful and less happy.  The last group is the group of people who work from a place of just getting by.  In not so many words, it says this group is lazy.  They have few to no goals and just try to go from day to day.  They are the least happy as they have no direction and no goals to base decisions on.  They are lost in a sea of nothingness. 

I am working to make it to the first group, that seems like the place to be if any of these groups actually exist. . .currently, I think I am vacillating between Group 1 & 2, unfortunately more often in 2.  I decided that I will start woring on this in a micro sense.  As I have mentioned, I have a little boy and he loves cars.  One of his favorite cars is one that you pull back and release and it will start driving off in the direction that it is pointed.  Thing is, it often gets off course and I have to walk beside it and pick it up and point it back on it's course to get where I originally pointed it.  I think that is now what I am going to try to do with myself.  In the morning when I meditate, I will set a definite goal (point myself in a direction I wish to go) and I will constantly keep a check on myself through the day and if I am not on course, I will just redirect my thoughts and actions to get back on course.

The word "action" actually brought up another thought from the Bhagavad Gita that has been marinating in my mind.  It says that we are all acting all the time.  Intellectually, I know this, but it is good for me to be reminded.  The truth is, I spend a lot of energy every day as I suspect, most do.  If I just focus this energy, I know that I can be wildly successful.

So calling up thoughts from a previous meditation, the fact that
1) my goals are God's goals so I do not have to accomplish everything and have every detail figured out before I start;
2. I Am always in action;
3. I Am on God's team; and
4. I just need to keep correcting my course.
If I can If I just keep correcting my course when I am off, know that I am always acting and focus the action, and know that I am on God's team serving God such that I keep going taking even the smallest step, doing my part, and trusting that God will take care of what seems overwhelming or unknowable, then I am on my way, right. . . .

Baby steps first I guess.  When I wake up tomorrow, I will set my goal for the day and let you know how it goes.

Love and light, C

In meditation, I simply opened up to understanding I Am.  I think I AM closer. . .

So, if you know anything about football, you probably know that the quarterback is the person who gets the ball at the beginning of each play and decides what to do with it.  Sure, there is a plan usually with what the quarterback will do but when the play is set in motion, the quarterback makes the best decision with all the information available at that second.  What follows is that the ball is either handed off to another player, passed to another, or the quarterback runs. 

The football analogy occurred to me this morning during meditation.  God was my quarterback and I was the guy who God was handing the ball off to.  It occurred to me too that God probably has a pretty good team and if I believe that and run with the ball, probably, the team will protect me.  It seems though that I often go head on with the opposite team and sometimes get knocked down.  Now, I thought, who the heck are these other guys and why are they trying to knock me down?  In my analogy is this Satan's team?  The answer came pretty quick though.  The other guys are my own challenges and insecurities.  After all, this is all happening in my head and really, all the players are aspects of me.  The guy I seem to be unable to get past so I can get the ball to the goal is a giant player named Fear (of being foolish) I think.  The meditation this week though seems to be giving me some good yardage though.  I am pretty sure I am 1st and ten now.  I think I am almost ready to take the ball again. . .

I am not sure if it is a profound insight or just noise running around in my head.  I have been fussing with all kinds of notions lately.  Chaos has occurred to me as beautiful.  What I mean is that those things or systems or hair that seems chaotic and I can make neither rhyme nor reason of, has made me feel somehow safe.  Maybe it is because I can just let those things be.  As soon as I conclude that it isn't mine to reason for it, I just let it go and it feels good.    The "Tao of Pooh" comes to mind: "Why does a chicken?  I don't know why. . .  coddleston coddleston coddleston pie."  Things just are as they are and that is all.  There is more to my chaos theory but It just hasn't come to me yet. 

I AM. . .doing this.  I have a habit of thinking that I should be doing this thing or that in order to meet some imagined goal.  When I find myself not doing this thing or that, in pursuit, I beat myself up.  For some time, particularly with a project I have obsessed about for years, I find myself in this pattern.  Today, it occurred to me that the idea for the project came from the Infinite Mind and I simply took the idea and formed it.  The important concept here is that, in some sense, God gave me this idea or more exactly offered me the idea.  For the longest time, I thought that it was my idea and I had to do something with it.  Today, it occurred to me that it is not mine, it is God's idea and I can choose to serve God in the quest for the realization of the idea if I want to.  I am pretty sure I am not God's only resource. . .Don't get me wrong, I still very much want to serve God to manifest a new reality and specifically this particular idea but I experienced a shift today in the way I see it now.  When I think or act on the idea now, it will be to serve.  I understand that I am not God's only resource and this Is God's, not mine.  I know now that I am not alone and that when I do start working on this and creating, I will have access to all of God's resources because I am serving.  The implications here are phenomenal!  Now, all I have to do is what I can do.  I no longer have to have every detail figured out before I start.  I start and keep moving and God will provide everything else because it is God's project.

I choose also to carry this concept into the rest of my world.  All of my work and my business is God's.  I am serving. The work that comes into my business is, for practical intents and purposes, a Divine assignment and I choose to do it the best that I can to serve my God

With Love and Light.

  I woke this morning to my little boy (3 years Old) kicking me (pretty solid) in the nose.  After the initial shock and also making sure he knew I wasn’t happy about that, while he drifted back to sleep seconds later, I noticed my mind was pretty well in gear and moving.  Perhaps, it was a divine kick in the nose?  I suppose it is better than a divine motorcycle wreck, right!  Anyway, my mind seemed to be forming what I am describing now as my 3 foundational beliefs.  These are ideals that have been with me for some time and I am not sure that I have ever grasped them as foundational per se.  Today though, after meditating on this, I am choosing to proclaim them as exactly that—foundational. 

Now, I choose the word foundation because a foundation is something that we consciously choose to lay down when we intend to build something of high value that needs a solid place to stand upon.  In this case, it is my life that I am building and I am consciously choosing to build it upon these core beliefs.  Again, the analogy of the foundation for me represents something that is not only formed to my needs but it is solid and immutable.  The foundation is a place that is the footprint I must always return to when I need to feel safe and grounded.  It is a place and structure that I know cannot be easily shaken nor fractured.  It can be expanded and I will always seek to expand, possibly improve my foundation but the original footprint, this footprint that I am consciously choosing to form and live upon now will form the core that will remain in place. 

I suppose you may have guessed by now that I do not take this lightly, this proclamation.  So rather than just throwing them out there, I have chosen to explain a little of why I choose these ideals as my foundation, perhaps, not as much for you as for me as I am not wholly convinced many, other than myself, will read this.  The foundation I am choosing to build upon is:

1.    God Is Good All The Time:  As the first of my foundational beliefs, I choose to return to this belief, both proactively and reactively as often as possible.  The former, of course, is easy, the latter, often, a challenge.  I believe this truth with all of my being.  God IS good all the time.  My experience in life has, without fail, lead me to believe this is true.  I have many examples of this but the one that presently comes to mind is a motorcycle accident that I had in my late twenties.  Leading up to this accident, I was closely akin to the fellow Soren Kierkegaard described as “A” in his book entitled “Either/Or”.  “A” is a character that was largely driven by pleasure and that was largely where I was.  Like the kick in the nose this morning, the motorcycle accident woke me up.  After the accident, I started to appreciate aspects and details of life that I had not formerly been awake to.  In this sense, I believe my life is richer and better because of the accident.  If anyone had tried to convince at the time of the accident, that God Is Good All The Time and that the motorcycle accident was in fact “Good”, I would have had a very difficult time accepting it.  Now though, because of this event and numerous others, I am convinced, God IS Good All The Time and taking this knowledge into all of future as a foundational belief, I am convinced that my life is and will be richer and better in every way.

  2.    I am doing the best I can with The tools I have to work with AND you (collectively) are doing the best you can with the tools you have to work with. This belief allows me a certain freedom to live uninhibited and allows me to forgive myself and others.  The immutable truth here is that I must (necessarily and always) do the best I can with the tools I have to work with and others must as well. 

Now, let me explain: Every decision I make and every action I take, based on all of my life experience is (because it cannot be otherwise) the best (and perhaps the ONLY) decision or action I could have taken.  Again, given the human condition, it cannot be otherwise. 

Let’s say for example, one person betrays another.  Specifically, let’s say that two people have made a commitment to one another to be sexually faithful to each other by not engaging in sexual intimacy with anyone other than each other.  Let’s call them person 1 and person 2.  Now, let’s say Person 2 violates that commitment and engages in an act of intimacy with Person 3. 

It is my belief that Person 2 made the best decision they could have made with the tools they had to work with.  It doesn’t justify the decision Person 2 made nor does it make the decision right or wrong.  It is just a decision and an action.  Now Person 1 will, in turn, make the best decision and take the best action based on the tools they have to work with.  Person 1 may decide to dissolve the relationship with Person 2 or may decide to take another course but without fail, Person 1 must draw upon the tools they have to work with and make the best decision they can.  This is true for all 3 people, they all make the best decisions they can and take the best actions they can (at the time) using the tools they have to work with.

Here you might say “so what” they made the best decision, yadda yadda yadda, who cares? Well, I do.  Knowing that we are all (including myself) doing the best we can with the tools we have to work with takes away all of the malice and the perception that I or anyone could have done anything other than what they did.  The truth is that there will always be consequences for every decision.  The consequences may be desirable or they may not be.  People will have to live with the consequences of their decisions. 

The important concept here is that people are not every decision that they make.  People are just human, learning from their decisions, collecting more (and hopefully better) tools to make future decisions.  I can accept you and me because I know that we are all doing that absolute best we can with the tools we have to work with. 

3.    I Love You and There is Nothing In the World You Can Do About It!  This, is something I imagine Jesus might embrace.  It is an ideal I want as part of my foundation.  This concept is that no matter what you do, I will love you.  I have only been able to grasp and embrace this concept since I have become a husband and a father.  It is the concept of unconditional love.  Prior to really giving this concept it’s required and due attention, I had thought of unconditional love as unconditional acceptance.  That is not what unconditional love is for me now.  Unconditional acceptance implies (for me) that I would have to accept ideas and ideals, decisions and actions that I fundamentally disagree with.  Besides being a poor foundation for anything, accepting concepts and actions with which I fundamentally disagree would just set me afloat in an ocean without boundaries or direction.

So what then is my ideal statement and foundational belief that “ I Love You and There is Nothing In the World You Can Do About It!”  It just means that I will always choose to love you.  I am free to disagree and to even avoid you if I wanty to but I know that my interface or exposure to you is for my greater good (refer to the first foundational belief above) and I know that you are doing the best you can with the tools you have to work with. 

Given all of this, I choose to love you and there is nothing in the world you can do about it!

06:56 A very simple breath meditation this morning.  I realized that I did not pray at all yesterday when I was meditating.  Usually I do but typically do not blog anything about it.  Anyway, I felt remiss in not praying so I started my meditation with prayer.  As I opened up to spirit, I just noticed my breath.  I would notice every aspect of my breath coming in and leaving.  As I inhaled, I would imagine that the breath coming in was the essence of all things outside of me.  It is the essence of all of my brothers and sisters who have come and gone before me and all presence here today.  I would breathe it in and let it flow through my blood, embracing all it had to offer.  As I would exhale, I imagined that was breathing a part of me into the world, allowing myself to become part of everyone and everything else.  I would exhale my life, my imagination, my love, my essence.  Somehow, it seemed harder to imagine the latter than the former. . . not really sure why.  Still embracing the Absolute Oneness.  I hope I am getting closer to really getting it.  It feels like it at times and at times I wonder. . .

17:44  Meditation today was much later than usual.  I have been reading Rumi a bit today and I think that was tainting my mind somehow.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Rumi's poetry, sometimes though, it seems like mental masturbation.  Anyway, back to meditation:  it was quiet. . . sort of.  As I tried to still my mind, I would try to empty it but I was constantly at the ready to put something back.  That is to say, when I would finally feel as though my mind was still and open, I would notice something on the periphery that was like a fleeing fire fly.    Just as I would notice it in the periphery and it seemed so bright, I would try to look directly at it and it would be gone.  Somehow, when it wasn't where I looked, I would feel somehow empty. . .It was a strange and frustrating experience.  It seemed like something I should really know, like a revelation that would offer a gift or something.  Not exactly an ideal meditation and I just don't know what to make of it? 

0615: The title was the theme of my meditation today.  It was quite wonderful.  It was not at all the experience I was expecting.  I was a little disappointed when I started my meditation this morning as work has prevented me from leaving today for a vacation I have been looking forward to.  As result, entering meditation, I was less than whole heartedly saying "Thank You God, I know it's good."    As I relaxed into meditation though, the words "All is Beautiful, All is Perfect--I Am Beautiful, I Am Perfect" came to me.  As I repeated these words, the "I Am" part of the phrase began taking on the meaning of everyone and everything (including me).  "All" and "I Am" were merging and becoming One.  When I would Repeat "I Am" I would envision a person or a thing or a place and every single thing that I envisioned, (a snail, my family, a street person, the ocean) it was all beautiful and perfect.  I felt love for everything and everyone.  The feeling I have is transformational!  What a gift, I wonder if some feel this all the time?

Even now as I write, I feel love and see perfection.  Thank You God, I know it's Good!

0633:  Meditation today lead me to a better understanding that Divine substance is everywhere and that in this moment and in this time and space, we are rich.  In fact the only thing limiting our substance physically is our own limiting beliefs.   Perhaps I should say my own. . .What I have found with most things in my life that seem so hard for so long is that they  really are not hard at all.  It is a simple matter of deciding and and doing it (whatever it may be) but I digress.. .

The meditation. . .I was in an unusual place for my meditation today, a different space than usual that is.  It didn't exactly feel right and a vision of a dark sort of frightening figure in a red cloak kept appearing.  It seemed that I knew that when the cloak was shed, what lied underneath was pure light.  I wanted to feel the light but the figure was disconcerting.  I believed that the cloaked figure represented the unknown and it was scary but the pure light beneath represented God and the fact that the future, the unknown was brilliant and I needn't fear it. . .still, scary.  I kept feeling a drive to go to the light to the warmth. 

When I stood up from meditation, I was unsettled and as I left the spot where I meditated, I noticed that the spot I normally meditate was very inviting and the sun was shining brightly on exactly that spot.  The invitation was irresistible and even though I would be spending more time in meditation than I had allotted for the morning, I decided to try meditating again in the bright warm spot, the familiar place.  This proved to be more settling.  It was a very quiet and still meditation I returned time and again to a place that I knew if I just quit trying to control things, things would synchronize at the vibration of God.  I am in the right place doing exactly what I need to be doing right now and right here.  Today I am allowing my being to be the divine note in Gods composure.

Da. . .Datta,  Da. . . Dayadhvam,  Da. . .Damyata 
Give,                        Sympathize,              Control


Shantih   Shantih   Shantih
Peace      Peace      Peace